Turns out alcohol doesn't numb feelings like everything she's absorbed has told her. The same unthinkable unspeakable mass of anger and grief stays, and she notices herself get angry when he says it won't happen again. An old festering anger still around from the fight like something left at the back of a cupboard.

"How do I know it won't?" she asks, her voice tight, "how do I know it won't happen again when there's worse consequences? That you won't just fucking maroon me somewhere?"

Because there's the rub. She's been allegedly perfect, and it still has not been enough. Which means either she hasn't been perfect, or Izzy is unworthy of her. This was an awful idea- she's not going to cry obviously, but god it's a lot.

"I still want you around, I just... I can't be in a position to disappoint you again. No more pirate queen shit."